Direct TV

Today, I have a story to tell. The story is about our journey to Direct TV. It is a looooonnnnggggg story---so hang in there.....

My DH had originally called and tried to place an order for Direct TV. He had tried to explain that we were full timers and that the satellite would need to be on a tripod. Long story short----not going to happen! So, now DH decides to purchase his own tripod. Once we have the tripod, DH places the order for Direct Tv via their internet site. In the “installer notes” section, he stipulates that we live in the woods and that the satellite will need to be mounted on our tripod in order to have a clear view of the sky.

Installer arrives (Noon)--right on time I might add. Where is DH ? DH is in town because our cell service here comes and goes and he is certain that the installer will call because he will not be able to find us----here, deep in the woods. WRONG! Al-righty then, I’m in charge. I explain the situation to the installer, show him the tripod, and he begins his installation. Meanwhile, I have discovered that the cell phone gods have decided to allow me a signal---here, deep in the woods---I call DH to tell him to please return home. DH does not answer his phone. DW finds this extremely frustrating because the whole point of DH going to town was to "answer the ding, dang phone"! At this point, the installer is having issues and questions. Questions that DW does not know the answers too! DW is now desperate to speak with DH. Fortunately for DH, he finally answers his phone. DH explains he does not know why, but his phone is not ringing. DW suspects that DH inadvertently has turned off his ringer and does not realize it. DW will deal with that later, she informs DH to come home because installer is here--deep in the woods--and has questions.......

You see, DH had set up the tripod where he felt the installer had the best chance of receiving a signal. Unfortunately, that was not to be the case. Our neighbor has Dish Network and has his satellite mounted on the split-rail fence separating the properties. DH had spoken with him yesterday and had gotten permission to place the tripod on the neighbors property--just across the fence line--if the current location did not work. So, the installer is now on the neighbor’s property, carrying around a satellite trying to locate a signal. He finds one, but it is a good 3 feet past the fence line and into the neighbor’s driveway. DW is concerned about this position, but we decide to go for it.

Finally, DH returns. He and the installer run the cables to our fifth wheel. We had our fifth wheel wired for satellite tv, but that did not include a receiver capable of recording. You see, the recording section of the receiver needs it’s own line. So, you need to ”innies“ on the outside of the rv. Fortunately, DH had put in two ports for our satellite internet. Since we are currently not using those ports, the installer was able to connect there. Whew! Now, we are on the inside of the fifth wheel. The two cables from the outside are now attached to the back of the receiver. Next problem. We cannot connect the direct tv receiver to our tv in the manner we had hoped too. Our tv attaches to the front of a cabinet with about 8 screws and all the wires are run through a small hole and then plugged into their appropriate receptacles inside that cabinet. Of course the ”plug in“ for the direct tv receiver was not accessible. We had to remove the tv from the cabinet, find the right port, plug in , and then re-attach the tv to the cabinet. Now, the cable is hanging down the front of the cabinet, under the tv, and over to the receiver. DW is not happy about this, but that will have to be attended to later.

Ok, so we finally have all our connections made and we are ready to activate the dish. Installer can’t get a signal on his little hand-held thingy which allows him to activate the dish. WHAT--YOU ARE KIDDING? NOPE! OH, but you can use a phone and call the center. Thank goodness the cell phone gods are still cooperating and we do mange to call the center and activate the dish. Guess what, the dish doesn’t pass. It can’t find one of the satellites that it needs---the one that has all the channels! CRAP! Maybe we should all just go jump in the river at this point! AH, the installer has a better option. He changes out the arm and I don’t know why it works, but it does and we lock on to all the satellites we need and PRESTO we have Direct TV!! DW notices that our neighbor has returned home. She sends DH over to confer with neighbor about tripod which now sits on his property. Good news, nifty neighbor has no problems with our tripod.

Oh and by the way, DH’s cell phone was having a problem. DW ended up needing to select a different ring tone to finally get the cell phone to ring---so, all is forgiven...

......and that my friends, is the story of Direct Tv---here, deep in the woods......